Making this experience my own…

I’m really enjoying India so far.  There have been so many neat experiences already in the first couple days, and I know that I’m going to grow and learn so much while I’m here.  It’s felt a little strange, though, because I’ve left a life of independence and come here where I can’t do anything on my own.  I can’t go anywhere without Brent until I learn the area, I can’t really order food yet (don’t know what the items are and whether they’re safe to eat), I can’t cook really since the food available is limited, I have trouble converting the money, and I rarely know what time it is (here or in the US).  Back at home, I clean our house and cook meals for us and feel valuable at work.  Here, I just kind of feel like a burden all the time since I need help with so much and can’t really offer anything to anyone at this point. 

Brent has done such a fantastic job of introducing me to people and making me feel welcome from the first second I got here, but I still feel like I’m trying to fit into his life instead of it being ours together.  They’re his friends, his church, his apartment, and his work that I’m just visiting for a time.  He was here before I got here, and he’ll be here after I leave.  The rational part of my brain reassures me that these are just my feelings and not truth, and I know that Brent certainly doesn’t think of me as a burden.  These are just emotions that I need to surrender to God and move on.  I’m going to have to do a better job of learning the culture and making my own friends and becoming a little more independent like I am in the US, even though that scares me right now, so that I can make this time my own.