More beautiful than yesterday...

I was talking to Mama last week and mentioned how tired I’ve been.  My body is experiencing a whole new level of exhaustion (maybe I’m getting a taste of what new mothers feel).  The stimulus in India is never-ending (traffic, sounds, smells, pollution, running for the bus, avoiding potholes, so many people…).  It’s all this fantastic patchwork that makes India unique and amazing.  But it makes me tired. 

The nutrition is different, so my body isn’t getting the energy from food that I’m used to.  The altitude is higher, so my endurance isn’t as good when I run.  I’ve been sick a few times already (and this comes from the person who hasn’t been sick in about 2 years).  I don’t sleep as well at night.  We stay up late and get up early.  We interact with people all the time (I’m introverted, so this takes a lot of energy for me).  Don’t get me wrong – I’m filled with joy in this place.  But I’m physically tired.

I was reflecting on this the other day and jokingly told Brent that I think I may have legitimately sacrificed about two years of my life through premature aging.  I’m half kidding.  I constantly have bags under my eyes, and I drift off like an old person when I sit for more than 10 minutes!  I know that what I’m facing is nothing and there are people out there who truly experience great suffering, and I mean no disrespect in my lightheartedness.  But for me, the physical part has been challenging and I feel guilty that I can’t take care of my body like I’d like. 

But alas, there is hope (there always is)!  Today in my Bible study time, I read 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Obviously my body is not truly wasting away.  I’m intentionally being a bit dramatic.  But it is being pushed hard.  My spirit, however, is THRIVING here.  God’s renewing me, and it’s almost reverse aging in a sense.  People would pay big bucks for the physical equivalent.  He truly is the ultimate fountain of youth!  He’s living water and breath of life.  A fear of Him and with Him is the fountain of life (Proverbs 14:27, Psalm 36:9).  All our fountains flow from Him (Psalm 87:7).  He satisfies our desires with good things so that our youth is renewed like the eagle’s (Psalm 103:5). 

My body isn’t in tip-top shape like it was a couple months ago, but I’m more beautiful than I was yesterday (or the day before, or the day before that).  He’s renewing my inward person day by day, and I think I might just be starting to look less like myself and more like Him!