A bittersweet goodbye...

I can’t believe I’m heading to the airport in about 3 ½ hours to go home.  Wow.  There are so many things going through my head.  I’ll probably have to do a separate “debrief” post when I have a little more time.  But I thought it was only fitting to do one last post from my little apartment in Bangalore.

I’m beyond excited to come home.  I miss my house, my family, my cat, my neighbors, my food, my stores, my friends, my church, my “things”, something familiar. 

But at the same time, India is familiar now.  It feels like home just a little bit.  And so I’m very sad about leaving.  I’ll miss the unique culture, the friends I’ve made, our apartment, this simple lifestyle, our routine, the food.  I’ll miss this season of life that I’ve shared with Brent, where we’ve learned more about one another, challenged each other, gone through trials together, taken care of each other, laughed together, cried together, experienced God in new ways together, and loved one another deeply.

But something I wasn’t expecting to feel was a sense of anxiety about returning to “normal” life.  I’m not sure what it’ll feel like.  The normal things might actually feel a bit foreign at first.  And I think that people will expect me to pick up right where I left off, but I’m a different person than I was when I left.  I’ll need some time to assimilate, and it makes me feel overwhelmed to be honest.  

I feel a little scared that I’ll have to do all this without Brent, as he’ll be staying here in India for another three weeks before returning home.  One of the things that I’ve enjoyed the most about India is how much more independent I’ve become, but I’m once again going to have to put my big girl pants on and step out.  I’ve got a lot of travel in front of me, getting reacquainted with friends and family, getting readjusted physically to a new time zone, going back to work at our Richmond campus, and figuring out our new routine.  It’s daunting to think of doing it alone, but I know that God will be with me.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned through these last 6 months, it’s that God is ever-present with me, He goes before me, He understands what I need, He’s already prepared the way, and He loves me.

So with that, I’m going to close down my computer, spend the last couple hours I have with Brent, and then load up my bags and head to Bangalore International Airport one last time (at least for now...I truly hope to make it back here at some point).  And the cool part?  Brent called Vishwanth, the cab driver who we shared the gospel with a few weeks ago, and he's going to drive me to the airport tonight.  Seems only fitting to end my trip this way!