(Note: I wrote this post right after returning to India and completely forgot to post it to the blog. So here it is a few days late!)
My return to the States has been filled with more joy than I ever thought would be possible. I expected to feel strange, to be sad, and to feel listless. I am indeed sad about leaving India, but I found out yesterday that I’ll get to return for a visit later this year as part of my assignment at work. My heart is full over this, and I will eagerly anticipate that visit.
But I’m here now, and God has, at least for now, ended my season in Bangalore. But there are remnants that will keep me connected to that beautiful country and group of people. I’ve made friends that I can stay in touch with over email and Facebook. And one of the friends that I made there actually moved to the US a few weeks back, so I’ll meet her for lunch next week. I think it’ll feel comforting to see her, and I hope that I can show her the love and hospitality that was poured out on me the last four months. I want to take her around, show her some of my favorite things, and cook her a meal in my home. I’m feeling so excited about getting to do that.
My first day back was a little different than I’d expected, but I saw God’s hand at work. After about 36 hours of travel, I arrived in Richmond and had my friends, Jen and Jody, pick me up. My friend Jen is pregnant, and I found out while I was away, so it was so fun to see her and her cute little tummy. They drove me home, and I got to my house around 9pm on Wednesday night. I came in and realized that my heater was out, and it was FREEZING in the house. My neighbors across the street who have been getting my mail and caring for the house came over and told me that they’d noticed that it had gone out a few days ago but didn’t know what was wrong. They tinkered with it and even researched my model online to see if they could identify the problem. I was immediately reminded of the lessons that God taught me as He prepared to bring me to India about love and support from friends. I live in such an amazing community of friends and family. They told me that I could shower and sleep at their house that night and we’d figure it out the next day. While I wanted nothing more than to be alone in my own home and sleep in my own bed, I sensed that somehow God was using this. One of my greatest fears before I returned home was that I’d have a desire to “hole up” in my house. I was a bit overwhelmed by the thought of interacting with so many people so soon (like I said, I expected to feel very sad and listless upon my return). I wanted to enjoy my house and my things, and I feared that I’d quickly lose some of the ways God has grown me over the past 4 months. So the fact that from the very first night I was in the company of others was no coincidence. My neighbors have a daughter that’s my age and is on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ in Australia. She was home for a visit, so we got to stay up and talk about our experiences like college roommates until it was time for bed. And the bed they offered me was one of the most comfortable I’ve ever been in (or maybe I was just exhausted – I’m not sure!). I slept so well that first night.
The next day I played with the heater a bit more and realized it was just dead batteries in the thermostat, so the house is toasty warm again. And my home was a sight for sore eyes. I’ve always loved my home, but since I’ve come back I honestly think it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I feel like a kid playing dress-up and still can’t believe that this house, my clothes, my things are mine. While I don’t want to find my joy in material things, I’m so very thankful for the ways that God has blessed us and I’ve seen my things with new eyes and a deeper appreciation since coming back. I had breakfast the first morning and immediately got ready to wash my bowl out, since I’ve been used to having only a couple bowls and plates over in India and needing to wash them after each meal. I stopped myself and remembered that I had 7 more clean bowls in the cabinet and a dishwasher that I could just throw it into. Again, I don’t want to ever become spoiled by these things, but I was just in awe of how much we have.
I’ve made a few trips out and feel good being back home. I stocked up on so many fruits and vegetables that I think my fridge might explode. I’ve loved cooking again over the past couple days – such a joy for me. I’ve talked to my family several times, taken a walk through my neighborhood, enjoyed wearing a coat and gloves (!!), and will be going to have coffee with my friend in a few hours. Tonight I’ll head to Williamsburg to have dinner with Mom and Dad Louie and pick up little Ella.
I’ve laughed several times since returning, mostly when I bump into people by trying to pass on the left side. While I still get tired very easily right now, I’m back to a normal sleep pattern. I haven’t had any trouble at all sleeping since I’ve come home, and I’ve been going to bed around 9pm and waking up on my own around 6am. And while that schedule is shifted a little earlier than I kept before I left, I once again see God’s hand at work. Brent and I talked before I left to come home about the fact that we’d need to be very intentional about carving out time in the morning to do our Bible studies. We could do them at night, but it’s easier to get distracted by other things, and we’ve enjoyed starting our day in the Word. We figured we’d need to wake up around 6am to do it before getting ready for work. So the fact that God’s naturally gotten me on this schedule is amazing to me. I’ve been enjoying my Bible study time in the quiet of the house each morning with a cup of coffee, and it’s been such a blessing.
Brent returns home in about three weeks, and I can’t wait to see him. Before I left, I cried and told Brent that I was sad to be leaving. And while I would certainly miss him, it wasn’t really about being apart for three weeks. I was grieving for the end of that season of our lives together. We’ve grown so much together, and I’ll miss those experiences with him. But as I sit here back in my own home, I’m honestly filled with such a sense of hope and anticipation. I know that God still has big plans for us, and we’ll just start a new season together back home. A season lived by two people who are more in love with each other, who know their God better than before, and who see the world with different eyes. That makes me excited and joyful.
I honestly can’t even begin to put into words what these past four months have meant to me, but they’ve been some of the most special and meaningful of my life. I’m so thankful for that time, and I can’t wait to see what God has next for us. This may be my last post for now, but I’ll start again on my next adventure in India later in the year.
God is good.
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